Waiting for Super(wo)man: Being Single

We often define key moments of our life as the “big” events. Big events are things like graduations, a wedding, a funeral, a birth, a hiring. Certainly events like those are memorable and play a big part in the shape and direction of our life. What is often unnoticed, however, are the small moments that bring us to the big ones. Small moments are every bit as important in defining the contour of our lives.
A few years ago I was attending a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine. Shortly after we had surprised her, I received a text message from another friend of mine. In the text, my friend indicated that her father figure had suffered a severe stroke and his future was suddenly uncertain. Just that fast her life had changed. One phone call had rocked her world, and one text message to me had put a damper of reality on my celebratory mood. My suddenly distraught friend was also a friend to the friend celebrating a birthday, but I chose not to pass along the information. My friend should be able to celebrate her birthday.
Little moments.
I can point to a little moment that led to one of my big moments. I was working an event on the college campus where I attended, an all-day workshop that needed my presence to help direct guests in the right direction. It wasn’t as exciting or action-packed as working some of the concerts that came on campus, but it provided some needed spending money nonetheless. During a lull in the morning, I stooped down to pick up a brochure. The brochure provided information on summer employment at a youth camp, an area of work that had recently caught my interest. As I picked it up, a person behind me commented, “That’s a good place to work.”
Unbeknownst to me, the director of the camp was watching me and was looking for counselors to work with the youth who would attend. I followed up, interviewed, and was hired. Another hire for the summer happened to be a mentee of the Camp Director, and would become my wife a little over three years later. I often wonder how life would be different for me had I not picked up that shift on a Saturday morning. Yes, I was interested in working at a summer camp, but I had never heard of this camp before. Would I have met the person who became my wife?
I don’t think so.
Little moments.
In the seven years of being divorced, I have often been stuck looking for “big” moments. Perhaps I expected the clouds to part, the sun to shine down in a laser beam, and the birds to start singing “This is the one.” That has not happened. When you focus too much on the big moments, you never allow yourself to be in the moment. The moment that you are in is all that you have, so why not be in it?
That is my challenge back to me and for you, whether you find yourself to be single or not. Be in the moment. You will never find another “big” moment if you do not first embrace all of the little ones that fill each and every day. Let the little moments lead you and the big moments will appear sooner than your realize.

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